


The Fatal Flaw of Loyalty

by Nerd_of_Camelot



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Fatal Flaws, Gen, Grudges, Introspection, Introspective Percy Jackson, Loyalty, Not Beta Read, Percy Jackson Needs a Hug, Percy Jackson is a Mess, Post-Tartarus (Percy Jackson), everyone but Percy is just mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:01:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26828551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerd_of_Camelot/pseuds/Nerd_of_Camelot
Summary: If there was one thing in the world, aside from his loved ones being hurt, that Percy just couldn’t stand, it was being betrayed.
Relationships: Annabeth Chase & Percy Jackson, Luke Castellan & Percy Jackson, Percy Jackson & Grover Underwood, Percy Jackson & Sally Jackson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 64





	The Fatal Flaw of Loyalty

If there was one thing in the world, aside from his loved ones being hurt, that Percy just couldn’t stand, it was being betrayed.

It was trusting someone whole-heartedly, with every fiber of his being, and believing that they were as loyal to him as he was to them, and having that trust thrown back in his face and used against him.

He didn’t know why he was thinking about it, right now, exactly. He just knew it was on his mind.

He guessed he was just thinking about Luke.

And he hated that he was thinking about Luke, really, because that meant he probably wasn’t getting any sleep tonight. At all. Because he was going to lay in bed, tossing and turning, until breakfast while his thoughts spiraled.

But there wasn’t anything he could do except let it happen, because  _ believe him, _ he’d tried to avoid it before. It didn’t work. He always ended up circling back around to the subject before he could fall asleep.

So.

He was thinking about Luke.

And he was thinking about betrayal.

Uneasy, he rubbed his palm where the Pit Scorpion had stung him and rolled onto his side. He honestly, legitimately would let anything and everything slide coming from someone he loved and trusted as much as he’d loved and trusted Luke. Really. Anything. And he’d almost let the betrayal slide because he really just didn’t care that much about being slighted like that.

Not as a twelve year old, at least.

But the thing was, and had always been, that Luke’s betrayal hurt worse than pretty much anything he’d ever experienced when he was twelve. Sure, he’d had things that hurt worse or affected him more seriously by now―like Luke actually becoming Kronos, or Bianca dying because of him, or any number of other things―, but back then? That was the worst.

Even Hades kidnapping his mom didn’t compare, because that had been a different kind of pain. Losing his mom hurt horribly, and he was never going to forgive Hades for screwing him over like that, but that was  _ loss. _ That wasn’t  _ betrayal. _

That wasn’t the first person besides his mom and maybe Grover that he had  _ ever _ trusted trying to kill him all because he’d picked the wrong moment to grow a conscience.

He’d never had any good male role models growing up―he’d had  _ Gabe. _ He’d had a lovely example of what  _ not _ to be.

But then there had been Luke. Then there had been one of Camp Half-Blood’s golden boys. Then there had been  _ Luke, _ who was tall and handsome and friendly and charismatic, who took Percy under his wing from the outset and didn’t falter when Percy was claimed, who gave him advice and taught him to fight and finally set a good example. Around him, Percy had almost been able to see what his future might be like if the rest of the camp would just warm up to him.

With Luke around, Percy had started to feel like maybe things at camp could be pretty cool!

And then, well.

After he’d really gotten to trust him, after he really started to  _ love _ him (and whether that love was platonic or romantic, he didn’t think he’d ever find out for sure, and he didn’t think that it really mattered in the end), Luke had tried to recruit him. And, a week or two beforehand? A month beforehand? Percy would have said yes in a heartbeat. He wouldn’t have hesitated to go with him, to help him.

But he asked at about the time that Percy really started caring about the rest of the camp.

About the time Percy grew a conscience.

So Percy said no.

And Luke tried to kill him for it.

And Percy’s heart had shattered into a million pieces in his chest and for a long time he had been angry, but… Not as angry as he was now. It had taken time for the anger to get to the point that it was at now.

Because Luke hadn’t just betrayed  _ him, _ he’d betrayed  _ everyone. _ And the anger and pain of  _ that _ had compounded the anger and pain of Luke’s betrayal of  _ him, _ and when he and Annabeth actually started really liking each other (platonically, romantically, it didn’t matter) his betrayal of  _ her _ made it even worse.

But it was all over, now.

Luke had come to his senses, in the end, and done the right thing.

And Annabeth had forgiven him, and everyone else had moved on, and the only pain left that Percy could be angry about was the pain of Luke betraying him personally.

And, at much closer to the age that Luke had been back then and now actually sort of  _ giving a shit _ about himself, he was a lot angrier than he had been, back then. In fact, he’d say he was kind of, like,  _ constantly furious _ about it.

The time he’d spent without his memories hadn’t eased the pain or anger at all, and gaining them back, having that memory smack him in the face in particular, had just made it worse, if he was honest. Because that was one of the memories that smacked him the hardest. The memory of the first person in this godforsaken camp that he’d ever loved or trusted  _ trying to kill him. _ And the subsequent attempts on his life hurt too, sure, but he’d already come around to the idea of Luke having betrayed him by then so it was kind of just salt in the prior wound more than anything else.

He sighed heavily, sitting up and raking his fingers through his hair.

He thought―and he wasn’t  _ sure, _ but had that ever really mattered before?―, maybe, the reason that being betrayed stung him so badly, made him so furious, was something to do with his own loyalty.

Athena, though he hated admitting it, had a point when she said he was  _ too _ loyal.

He didn’t give his trust easily, but once he gave it he gave it blindly and whole-heartedly. He gave his loyalty proudly and unflinchingly. For someone he loved, he’d sacrifice the world and he was at home with that realization now, even if it did sting sometimes. And he gave that trust and loyalty only to people he thought deserved it, and it didn’t feel like asking too much to hope that they’d at least give him the common courtesy of offering their loyalty as well.

He didn’t ask the same  _ kind _ of loyalty, the same bone-deep and unflinching loyalty  _ he _ had, he just asked for loyalty in exchange for his. Or, well,  _ hoped _ for, because he could never bring himself to say anything about it out loud.

Having that trust betrayed, having someone blatantly prove to him they’d never had an ounce of loyalty for him where he had  _ oceans of it _ for them, was insulting.

He would do anything for them, and they  _ threw it all back in his face. _

And, of course, Luke’s betrayal stung worse than anyone else’s ever would.

Not surprising.

It was the first one, after all.

He sighed again, pushing his face into his hands.

Okay, he’d gotten to the root of the issue, he’d finished the train of thought. But he couldn’t sleep, because he was  _ stuck _ on it. He needed to go do something, but it was the middle of the night and the  _ harpies… _ Ugh. Not that he was scared of them, he was just… Tired and annoyed.

He didn’t want to deal with them.

Whatever.

He stood and slipped out of the cabin. Half-jogged his way down to the Long Island Sound and unceremoniously dropped himself in. Let himself sink to the bottom and just sort of hung out there for the rest of the night.

If nothing else it kept him from feeling exhausted, but he was pretty sure that as soon as he stepped out of the water he was going to want to pass out. And being in the water let his brain go in a different direction rather than just looping the same thoughts of Luke and betrayal. He even managed to doze for a while before the sun came up.

But inevitably he had to go back to his cabin, go about his day like nothing was wrong. A couple more months and he’d be going to finish high school at long last and he was sure that was going to be  _ horrific. _ And if he kept having to stay up all night thinking about his own fragile heart and the grudge he had against Luke, he’d never manage to survive it.

… Maybe he needed to go to therapy, but like… How did he explain that?

How could he ever explain that the first person he felt he could trust other than his actual  _ mother _ had tried to kill him and he hadn’t called the police? Ugh.

Maybe Camp Jupiter had, like, therapists who knew about this sort of thing? But if that was the case he’d have to wait until he was there to get therapy. Ew.

… At least hanging out with Annabeth didn’t make him feel like total crap. He’d just have to hang onto that.

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking about Percy's loyalty and the way I always felt he wasn't, like, angry enough at Luke about him betraying him? Or at least didn't come across as angry enough. Cuz if someone did that to me, I'd be pissed, and for someone who is so fiercely loyal that he'd literally give up everything to save someone he loves, having that loyalty used and then thrown back in his face should have been something he was angrier about. Maybe he's just more selfless than I am lmao
> 
> Left this sort of open-ended on purpose? I dunno, it was written in a total of like two hours


End file.
